Failed Plans

Proverbs 16:9 The mind of man plans his way,
But the LORD directs his steps.

Schedules.  Lists.  Charts.  Calendars. My adrenaline is flowing from just typing those delightful words!  Yes, I have always been magnetically drawn to these tools of organization.  Somehow they bring feelings of security and safety to the unsafe and unpredictable homeschooling lifestyle that has been ours for as long as I can remember. Which isn't really saying much, since I can't even remember what I had for breakfast. Anyway, somehow I manage to convince myself every August that if I get everything planned out on paper down to the last detail, there is little room for failure.  It's probably just me (I'm sure that you, my darling fellow homeschooler, don't deal with this), but usually within a week, and more likely within a few days, I see that my plan did not and will not flow as smoothly as I had anticipated.  Actually, practically every year, I have to tear up the plan, re-evaluate, and start again at the old drawing board at least a few times before I finally come to a point of having a reasonable and even workable plan for my day to day life as a homeschooling mom and for my amazing children.  In my mind, that's crazy!  You would think that I would finally just have it figured out and each year, it would just come together.  After all, I'm no newbie at this! 

I remember one year, after I had everyone's schedules including mine all on one sheet of paper, my face just beamed from satisfaction of a well-laid plan.  I was so proud of my attention to detail.  I had every student occupied at all times with myself going through a rotation so as to give each the one on one attention and tutoring that they would need for the year. It was all in there. Grooming time, creative play time, even P.E. for heaven's sake!  After perusing the freshly printed schedule posted on the refrigerator for all eyes to feast upon, one of my angelic sons commented, "Mom, you know that after two weeks this will be obsolete, right?" Aaah!!!  How disheartening!  But I have to admit that his prophecy was fulfilled in about the time span he predicted.

So what is the use?  What hope do I have?  Will I always be striving for the unattainable?  Speaking for myself (since I'm the only one who goes through this, I'm sure, dear reader), I have  learned and am continuing to discover that the Lord directs my steps.  As I allow my schedule to "flex" and as I perk my ears to hear the Spirit of God who wants to lead me in each learning decision and academic detour of the day, I find measures of success and have peace and even hopping joy at times in the midst of my unpredictable life.  I witness real depth of learning taking place in myself and my student as we move into the rhythms of life, learning from the planned and the unplanned opportunities set before us. The stress levels drop as I relax and realize that just because it's written down, doesn't mean that it absolutely has to be done or the sun most certainly will not rise.  Allowing for creativity, curiosity, and other natural motivators mixed with a good dose of disciplined study leads to the joyful homeschooling that I am tirelessly seeking. I'm so glad that my plans don't always work out.  God's plans are way more rewarding! I wonder if I'll remember this next August when I'm salivating over my self-published, colorful, and fresh-smelling (you know you can tell if it's a good book by its smell!) home school and life planner.  Nope, that would be breaking tradition.