Don’t speak evil against each other, dear brothers and sisters. If you criticize and judge each other, then you are criticizing and judging God’s law. But your job is to obey the law, not to judge whether it applies to you. God alone, who gave the law, is the Judge. He alone has the power to save or to destroy. So what right do you have to judge your neighbor?
James 4:11-12 (NLT)
I have a big black hairy dog. We appropriately named him "Bear". When we first got Bear as a roly poly puppy, he stayed right around the house, but as he began to grow in size, he also grew in courage and thought it an exciting thing to take excursions further away from the house. My husband, Mark, happened to have a friend who offered to loan us a shock collar. We thought it might be a good way to break him (Bear, that is!) from wandering. We heard that once a canine learns its lesson from the mild shock it receives when his watchful owner presses the "zap" button on the remote at exactly the time when the pup is crossing the boundary, the collar is no longer needed. The dog doesn't dare leave the yard because of not-so-fond memories of receiving an unpleasant shock at each attempt.
It turned out to work great. We only had to press that cruel button a couple of times before our bright young dog got the message that he needed to stay in the yard. I was pretty impressed. We only used it on one of the lowest settings, too, so it was a very mild zap power.
But then one day as I was washing dishes, I looked out the window and what did my eyes behold? Far off in the distance at the edge of our neighbor's pond stood my Bear dog! How dare he? He left the yard? What a disobedient impertinent pup! Well, I knew that I needed to grab the remote zapper and try to send him a message to help him to return to the straight and narrow! Drying my hands, I clutched the zapper, noted the low setting, and pressed the button. Bear didn't flinch. Hmm, no response. I turned up the power to a stronger zap. Pressed button. He was just standing there as if he could care less! That was it. I turned up my zapper to its maximum zapping capability, aimed that black electronic device right at him and held down the button. About this time, I heard a sound. It kind of reminded me of a whiny sound of something in pain. It was coming from just outside my back door. About this time, my husband came in and asked what I was doing. I proceeded to complain to him that our zapper was not doing its job and pointed out Bear over by the pond. He looked, squinted, and said, "That's not Bear. That's Ranger, the neighbor's dog."
So yes, compassionate reader. You are correct in concluding that the painful whining and yelping sound out my back door was coming from a dog named Bear who was being zapped even though he was perfectly innocent and exactly where he was supposed to be. I just know he had been doing somersaults out there, not comprehending what in God's creation was causing such discomfort. (Okay, stop that laughing and read on.) Needless to say, I felt absolutely horrible and guilty for hurting poor Bear boy. I even let him in the house (a smelly outside dog) and just loved on him and apologized left and right, petted him, gave him cheese. He deserved any comfort I could give him after what he'd been through.
I'll try not to sermonize too much as I point out that many times, we do a fair amount of zapping people as we judge their actions and behaviors. Many times we misjudge because of our own near-sightedness. We think we know what someone is doing or why they are doing it when we really are just coming to false conclusions from our limited perspective and zapping them with harsh words, criticism, or condemnation. Or maybe we're just talking to others about them, just "praying" that they get back on the straight and narrow (as we hypocritically gossip about them).
The wisest and most loving response would be to pray for someone if we suspect they are outside their own healthy boundaries and try to be a friend and encourager, not a judge and jury. Let's pull the batteries out of our zappers and instead work on our own issues. "Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?" Luke 6:41 (ESV).
I am the vine, you are the branches: he who is in me at all times as I am in him, gives much fruit, because without me you are able to do nothing.
John 15:5 (BBE)
But Martha was distracted with all her preparations; and she came up to Him and said, "Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to do all the serving alone? Then tell her to help me." But the Lord answered and said to her, "Martha, Martha, you are worried and bothered about so many things; but only one thing is necessary, for Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her."
Luke 10:40-42 (NASB)
If there is one issue that I have struggled with for all of my years of motherhood, it would be the issue of being wise in deciding how my 24 hours will be filled. Once we started homeschooling and adding more children to the picture, it seemed absolutely impossible to have enough time to accomplish what I considered "the necessities", let alone any extra activities that might fall under the category of fun!
Even though I combined many of the children's lessons, allowed a good amount of independent learning, and avoided a lot of "busy work" that can create a worksheet wasteland, I still had to examine with a fine tooth comb all the activities that took my time and precious energy so that I could accomplish those things I felt called to without sacrificing unhurried moments that foster healthy, deep relationships.
There was one point in time when I sat down and calculated how much time my normal daily, weekly, and even infrequent activities took up so that I could measure what commitments were realistic and what were mere fantasy! Would I really have time to crochet an afghan for that special someone before Christmas? Did my free time add up to enough hours to allow myself a weekly guitar lesson and a 30 minute daily practice? Would 45 minutes each day per student in Math truly leave enough time for other topics of study? What about the time away from home to attend basketball games or violin lessons? Would my daughter's SAT prep time be less fruitful because of the energy and time she would spend at youth group functions? And would that be a higher priority or not necessarily so? Were these things that I was actively choosing (or allowing by default) be worth the sacrifice of whatever I was choosing not to do? These were such hard questions. No black and white decisions. No one-size-fits-all answers!
So here I am. Decades later. Still asking similar questions. I don't have several students that I must juggle. But my allotted time still seems to fill up like a jar being filled with sand; each tiny area of life allowing itself to be filled with something. Housework, learning activities, computer work, clerical duties, errands, phone calls, income generation (a.k.a. part-time job).
This weighed-down feeling that there's just too much to do and not enough time to do it all is not something new. Jesus addressed this inner tug-of-war in His day, too. He commended Mary for choosing the "one" thing, the better thing, that couldn't be taken from her. The one thing that brings genuine peace, discernment, strength, joy, and new energy is available to us, too. Like Mary, our time at Jesus' feet, learning of Him and His ways, as He teaches us about ourselves, is a crucial investment of time that we should not assume is optional.
I'm definitely more of a Martha who wants to keep all of her ducks in a row. Well, okay - everybody else's ducks, too! It is so easy for me to hit the floor running instead of having a rich time of restoration with God before I begin my day. I long to be one who sits at Jesus' feet before I get up to serve. I yearn for clarity of mind and mission so that I can let go of the "stuff" that I'm not supposed to be doing. I don't want to sacrifice the best on the altar of the good. I aspire to walk in the unforced rhythms of grace that God has set before me rather than madly scrambling to the next educational seminar, sports event, or ministry opportunity just so that we can say we did it. Or just because our friends are involved in it. Or just because everybody else seems to think it's important. I most definitely want to live in freedom from the captivity of activity!
Please don't misunderstand me. I thrive on worthwhile activity, but I also crave(could it be God's design?)quiet times of reflection, rest, and just "being". Regularly. Might I even say daily? Not just a couple of times a year! This life is passing by so quickly and I don't want it to blow past in a flurry of activity (doing, doing, doing), not even knowing what I've done with the gifts of time, unique talents, and treasures that have been granted to me - to use for others. And I definitely don't want to misuse these valuable resources on things that I am doing because of trying to live up to others' expectations that our frenzied society has created. Thank you very much!
Instead I'm choosing to thoughtfully contemplate my calling to love, serve, teach and help those specific people that God has strategically placed around me. I pray that I will respond to the heartfelt flame that He periodically ignites in my heart to give and serve a hurting world, even those on the other side of the globe. Kindling meaningful relationships that reflect the character of our Creator and cooperate with the fulfillment of His plan (not mine) is what it's all about. To live this way successfully, I had better be filling my tank consistently with the life-sustaining fuel of God's love directly from Him, the True Vine, through prayer and meditating in His love letter to humanity! He is the One who will give me wisdom to let go of those unprofitable wasters of time that can never be recovered.
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